Scene: At your favorite watering hole: You’re standing at the bar as the bartender is pouring your beer. You see someone give you that “Is that them” face. You furrow your brow as now both you and this mystery person try to figure out if you two know each other. They approach, slight panic begins to build as you go through your brain’s memory folder. Oh great, now they’re smiling, meaning they’ve clearly remembered you while you’re having a mental breakdown trying to remember them.
Them: Hey (insert your name here). It’s been forever, how’ve you been?
You: Hey…….you. *social interaction failure.
Has this ever happened to you? Sorry stupid question, we’ve all been in this painful situation. For some odd reason, we can remember movie quotes, random facts from 20 years ago, and even memories of our early childhoods. But, for some reason, humans are incapable of remembering names, especially when we have just been introduced to this person. Now if you are just introduced to them you can simply ask them to repeat it, a little embarrassing but saves you a lot of hassle for the next time. IF YOU DON’T ASK AGAIN, you live in a constant state of conversation danger. Sure you may survive the first interaction, but what happens when 7 months go by and you randomly pump into them? Now you gotta try and weasel your way through the conversation without showing that you have the memory capacity of a goldfish. A good example of this happened to me just this past weekend.
As we talked about on Monday’s episode of The Drew Show (Link to the episode below) I had a few stumbles at a friend’s bridal shower. Not only did I not realize I wasn’t a groomsman, story for another day, but I also completely forgot the fact that I had met one of the bride’s friends a year ago. Not realizing the mistake I was about to make, I greeted her and went with the classic and safe greeting.
“Hey, how’re you doing?” I should have realized the trouble I was in when she replied with my name in her answer.
As the night went on and a round of margs now in getting the party started, the bride and her friends were sitting out on the patio with us. The friend in question had what I thought at the time was a beautiful British accent, so naturally, I asked her where in England she was from.
I overplayed my hand.
In a polite, but obviously disappointed tone reminded me that we had met on the 4th of July. Not only that, but I had asked her the EXACT SAME QUESTION to be reminded she is from South Africa. A CRUSHING defeat for yours truly. Not just for looking like an idiot, but for clearly letting this girl down. Though it might not seem like a big deal, remembering someone’s name is essential for making proper connections with people, which just typing makes me want to write an emphatic DUUUH. This problem has been a thorn in not just my side, but society’s side for too long! That is why this week we will be going over ways to get them to give you their name without letting them discover the fact that you have no idea what it is.
Full Monday Podcast Here:
Names, The thing we’re given at birth and need tags for just so our co-workers and bosses don’t forget. Now you could try some strategy when you first meet someone in order to remember their name, OR you could use these battle tactics in order to get them to fess up. Here I will be going over a few strategies in order to not look like a bad friend and seem like you clearly remember that house party that you met way back at and clearly didn’t have too much to drink and absolutely didn’t throw up in the neighbor’s bushes when no one was looking……
- Classic Friend Introduction: An all-time classic move, you can’t remember this person’s name but you know you know them. That’s when you use Buddy A as a conversation meat shield. You can first ask if they remember them, and if they’ve never met them you can use them to introduce themselves and boom name confirmed. Downside: Though this is usually the safest bet, the only problem is that it requires at least one extra person. Also if your friend also doesn’t remember them well at least you two can share the embarrassment. But what happens when you need to remember during a solo outing?
- Social Media Plug: The creation of social media is seen as either a great way to meet people from all different aspects of life or a horny, toxic bubble that leads to mental health issues and body dysmorphia. However, it can be used as a third option, a way to get someone’s name. Layout a conversation to which you mention either a post, meme, story, etc. Show them whatever decoy you think of and then offer to share it with them. From there you can get their handle and boom name unlocked and possibly more. The rest is up to you. Downside: This can be seen as being a little too forward. If you are more reserved you most likely will feel you’re being overly aggressive which will lead to overthinking and ultimately not following through with the strategy, which is totally understandable. Another issue is what you show them. Let’s be honest here, all of our humor has degraded to dark and inappropriate memes and TikToks, so you could easily scare this person off. So if the friend doesn’t work, and getting their socials doesn’t work (@NewrockElliott, you’re welcome) then what else can you do. It’s time we get to business.
- Business Cards: Business cards are a solid play when it comes to forgetting names in the workplace! You can even use yours as a conversation starter. Tell them you’re thinking about changing your current card and ask to see theirs as a suggestion. Just like that, Name City population you bro. Getting them to present their name to you without you having to snoop is the key, so a trade of business cards is both friendly and a good way to make another connection. Networking people. Downside: Some people don’t have business cards or don’t carry them on their person. Talk about unprofessional…says the radio dj.
Alright now that we have a couple of strategies to remember a name, a bigger question needs to be asked, Why do we so often forget names?
In an article written by Jane Kelly at the University of Virginia, She speaks with respected psychology professor Daniel Willingham about the struggles we face with remembering names. Willingham goes on to talk about how the lack of information we get about a person with just their name makes it difficult for people to remember but doesn’t mean there aren’t ways to help you. One way of helping is to pick from one of their features as a way to help you remember. A smile, a gold tooth, freckles, pretty eyes, crazy hair, or tattoos, use these as examples of recognizable features. With that said, don’t be the guy to use “those” features *bonk.
Another helpful tip is to get more information about them. The more knowledge you have of someone, the easier it will be for you to make connections. If you ask about their profession, you can connect it with their name. Barry the banker, Tammy the talent agent, Stephanie the social worker, etc. these kinds of connections help our brains which can lead to us not making an ass out of ourselves in social situations.
Full Article Here:
In conclusion, memory is a tricky thing. Names evade us like we evade trying new things at a restaurant. They go in one ear and out the other without stopping by the brain whatsoever. I am confident that with these helpful tips, you will be one step closer to never messing up a forgotten name. These surefire methods will make you look like the patron saint of names while making your other friends look bad all in the process, a flawless victory.
