Ah trashy tv. Where would we be without you giving us something to be mad about, something to cry over, or to just tell people we don’t watch only to watch it with your younger sibling because they watch it and you secretly want to know what’s happening and now you can’t miss an episode. In this week’s installments of trash tv I comes a show from Jolly Ol’ England. Now England and the UK are notorious when it comes to bringing grade A levels of wild television shows. Shows like “Too Hot to Handle,” and “Love Island” have dominated so much so that they have gotten American spinoffs. But there’s a new sheriff in town that is turning heads and raising eyebrows, and that is none other than the most ridiculous dating show I’ve ever come across:
Naked Attraction
Naked Attraction is quite possibly the most outlandish dating show of all time. Though originally airing all the way back in 2016, this show finally hit the streaming platforms Max and Prime on Sept. 20 of this year with six full season at your disposal. Do you remember when you were young and your parents told you not to judge a book by it’s cover? That’s exactly what you’ll be doing here. The show goes as followed:
One picker (either a man or women) stand in a room of six blurred out glass boxes. The host, Anna Richardson, greets the picker while briefly asking what they’re looking for in a partner and the usual spiel. Before I go into what goes next, I want to make it very clear:
THIS SHOW IS NOT MEANT TO BE WATCHED WITH YOUR KIDS AND HONESTLY, PROBABLY YOUR FAMILY IN GENERAL. THIS IS YOUR WARNING! NO NOT AND I REPEAT DO NOT WATCH WITH YOUR KIDS.
With that disclaimer said, here where the insanity starts.
Now you might be wondering, why would the six glass booths be blurred? To make sure the guest can’t see the other contestants right? I mean that seems obvious enough, that is until you remember what this show’s title is again. That’s right the six other contestants in these blurred booths are completely naked inside. As the show goes on each part of the body is then un blurred to showcase each part of the body they find attractive. From the bottom up.
The picker is asked if they are ready and the first set of un blurred parts is shown from the feet to the you know what. The upper part of the body is stilled hidden to the guest as they and Anna discuss what set of legs, toes, and butts they like. After an inspection, Anna will then ask them to eliminate one based strictly off the lower half of their body. Once one of them is eliminated the nude contestant is then shown to let the picker know what they are missing out on. The viewer then gets a quick rundown of that contestant and one of the most awkward hugs in tv history ensues. The eliminated contestant then walks off the set bare bottom and all. One cool thing is that after their rundown we actually get to see them in their street clothes which surprisingly makes them look more attractive after seeing them naked. Call it reverse psychology but after seeing them in the raw, it actually is nice to see how they dress and the style they can bring.
Now that the butts and anything else in the nether regions are out of the way, it’s time to move up to the upper body. The second phase of the show begins with the chest back and arms being shown to the picker. There we can see pecks, boobs, abs, flab, arms and all. The picker and Anna again go over what they like about each contestants’ bodies so far and again another contestant is eliminated and revealed. Another awkward “I’m naked and you aren’t” hug and off they go.
Finally it is the face reveal. The last four booths are now completely cleared and it is up to the picker to now look at them in the eyes and decide who he physically likes most. What makes this stage awkward is now the picker can see how he reacts to their bodies. This is where you start to see the pickers of the show get nervous as they have to eliminate one more contestant.
Now at this point there are 3 (sometimes 2) contestants left for the picker to make their final decision. The final contestants are asked to come out of their booths and are given a proper introduction to the remaining contestants. They say what they like, what they’re all about, etc. The picker now must decide who they would like to take out on a clothed date. BUT, before they do, we get the plot twist we’ve been waiting for. Before they get to make their final decision, they themselves must make choose while also being naked.
That’s right the contestants, and now the picker are leaving it all hang out for the final decision. The picker is now ready to make their choice and a now final naked hug goodbye to the runner up. Once the picker has chose who the winner, they then finally get to go on a date to see if they’ll fall in love.
Yes the date is clothed.
After about three weeks the couple is brought back to the show to discuss how the date went the potential future of the two being together. Some have chemistry right away while others decide that they just aren’t compatible and call it a day. The credits roll only for the next episode to start and before you know it you’re five episodes deep wondering how you’ve just spent the last four hours looking at naked people not doing what you usually see naked people doing (bonk).
To say this show is not for the faint of heart is a bit of an understatement. If you are ready to see both male and female genitalia in all of their naked glory then this show is the new trashy dating show you’ve been waiting for. If nudity isn’t your cup of tea, run don’t walk away from this because when I say you see a lot of “family jewels” you see A LOT.
Crunching into the Jams level 1 being a tart jam and 10 being a sweet jam I’m throwing this one at 6.7/10
The premise is outlandish and unlike anything I’ve experienced before but after a few episodes the amount of private parts you see can burn you out. It’s fun, trashy, and absolutely a guilty pleasure show that you could only watch by yourself or most likely a significant other.
You can watch Naked Attraction on Max and Prime now.
New Years Resolution Blog Count: 17/52. Nothing like a end of the year cram sesh.
