Dating can be a scary thing. Putting yourself out there and being vulnerable to let someone in so that you can finally grow a healthy and lasting relationship. You meet them at maybe a book club, a grocery store, the bar, or by swiping your phone. A connection is made and after awkwardly shooting your shot see the most stress inducing thing a single person can see.
A typing notification.
As you sweat out what they could possibly say and start the process of telling yourself that classic “Hey at least you tried,” mental pep talk, your phone vibrates. To your delight, and low key surprise, she agrees to go out for what you hope is the start of many dates. You start planning a day that works best for you, and before you know it the date and time are set. Excitement begins to grow and now you’re counting down the days to take them out. Finally the day comes and you’ve barely slept in due to the anticipation of potentially finding love in what you decided was hopeless just four days ago.
You put on the fit, give yourself that Ron Burgundy “I look good.” energy and you head out. You pick up your date and they are looking FOOOIIINNNEE. So good that you completely fumble the hello but manage to recover by complementing how good they look. They smile and the mood is off the charts. Small talk about each other’s day ensues while you head to the destination of the date. You’re thinking to yourself,
“There is no way anything call kill the mood, we are clicking and the spark is ignited a whole damn fire at this point.”
Your confidence is through the roof as you pull up to the spot. You find a parking spot and ask them if they’re ready to go as you look over your parking.
A disturbing chill runs down your neck. Your survival instincts kick in as it feels like you’re being seen through the eyes of a predator ready to maul you into oblivion. You slowly turn your head back toward them as if you’ve realized the killer has been behind you the whole time.
In a disgruntled voice “Uh, what are we doing here?”
“What do you mean? We’re going out to eat?”
“I’m not eating here. What you can’t take me somewhere better?”
“It’s Cheesecake Factory? I thought this was a nice restaurant?”
Boy have you never been so WRONG, at least according to them. An awkward conversation follows as you try and tell them to just give it a chance as it’ll be a fun time with good food. The face they make would’ve made you think you insulted their family. The awkward conversation leads to a confrontation until ultimately you’re so over it that you drive them back home.
If that scenario sounded like you’ve heard it before, it’s because this is one of the more recent “viral” videos floating around the internet. Guy picks up woman, guy and woman go to Cheesecake Factory, woman says no shot. The video, with now 8.3 million views on TikTok, has not only taken over news outlets, podcast, radio shows, but has also inspired women from across the internet to collab on a list that are instant no’s when it comes to first dates.
@moniquelsantos09 #fyp #foryoupage #dating #relationship #datinglife #datingover30 #blackrelationships
This list, being roughly named “The 28 places Women Absolutely Refuse to go on a First Date,” shows all the places/activities that are instant deal breakers. If you thought dating was hard before, just wait until you see some of the suggestions getting rejected. So for this week’s blog I thought why not go through the 28 different ideas and quickly give my thoughts on each option.
Before I continue I’d like to point out that this isn’t some end all be all list. I’m sure there are plenty of men and women that agree and disagree with some of these dates. All I’m giving is my opinion on these suggestions. Now with the “please don’t email my boss” disclaimer is out of the way let’s dive on in. I will break this down with the following:
Strongly Agree With The List
Agree With The List
Slightly Agree With The List
Slightly Disagree With The List
Disagree With The List
Strongly Disagree With The List
- Cheesecake Factory: When was this a bad play? I have always felt that Cheesecake Factory was like a fancy restaurant. Great variety of dishes, very good drinks, good bread, and a date night atmosphere. And it’s damn pricey, this isn’t a cheap date, this is that “I LIKE YOU LIKE YOU” date. Strongly disagree great dinner date.
- Applebee’s: Before you think I’m crazy and start lighting your torches and sharpening your pitchforks, hear me out. It’s a low stress location that could be fun thanks to the return of the glorious “Dollaritas.” A couple of fun drinks and shared apps and this could be a fun date. I get it’s cheap and not necessarily the most romantic place, but I wouldn’t hate to be asked out to Dollaritas. Just saying. With all that being said I’ll Slightly Agree.
- Chili’s: Please look up one for I have the same opinion on Chili’s as I do Applebee’s. Slightly Agree.
- Chipotle: This isn’t a date. Chipotle is high end fast food and unless you’re meeting for a quick in-between our lunch break, this isn’t an acceptable first date location. Strongly Agree.
- Olive Garden: I thought Italian food was romantic. I agree that if you’re doing Italian you could do something a little more authentic, but I don’t hate this idea. Plus free breadsticks! I’m gonna say Neutral on this one.
- The Movies: As someone who loves the movies, I totally understand the hate on this, especially for a first date. Unless there’s like a dinner or a round or two of drinks before this date is quiet and awkward. No talking, no getting to know someone, and you’re gonna spend the entire movie wondering if they’re enjoying the movie or not. This is a 3rd or 4th date minimum. Strongly Agree.
- Your House: C’mon, this is just lazy and you aren’t even hiding your intentions here. Strongly Agree.
- Any Fast Food Chain: Babes, if you’re taking someone to McDonald’s on the first date, you need to figure some stuff out. Fast food first date is OFF LIMITS. Strongly Agree.
- Buffalo Wild Wings: Now if you like a prim and proper first date then no BDubs isn’t the play. However, if you like chaos and want to test a date then this is the perfect place to take someone. If they can see you at your messiest, then they can love you at your cleanest. Get those extra saucy wings and really test their metal. Slightly Agree.
- Wingstop: It’s like the fast-food version of BDubs, so it’s like a lesser version of the date idea for 9. Not in the sense of taste though, Wingstop wings are waaaaaaaaaayyyyy better. Strongly Agree.
- Red Lobster: Another restaurant I always thought was a super fancy restaurant growing up. Cheddar biscuits, lobsters that you can pick, I mean how is it not fancy? That said, Seafood can be a tricky thing to pitch, especially on a first date. And if you put on that seafood bib they give you, consider the date over. Slightly Agree.
- A Buffet: Unless it’s like a John’s Incredible Pizza where you can play games and go on bumper cars a buffet is never the play. Strongly Agree.
- IHOP: I’m a sucker for good breakfast, and IHOP has that banging strawberry syrup for their pancakes, but there are better breakfast places to go. Strongly Agree.
- Denny’s: Same as IHOP but more janky. Strongly Agree.
- The Gym: This one works if and only if you two are both super into fitness. If the gym is your life and you want to start your relationship in the House of Iron, then this could be a fun date. If you or they aren’t 100% into the gym, it’s a no go. Agree.
- Church: This sounds miserable. I’m just gonna leave it at that. Strongly Agree.
- Starbucks: See I love a coffee date, but Starbucks isn’t where you should go to do it. Always busy, way louder than other coffee shops, and can be hectic depending on when you go. Yes, most people like Starbucks, but there are better places to go for that kind of date. Still not the worst option though. Slightly Disagree.
- Coffee Dates: An absolute L take. Coffee dates are safe, affordable, cute, and good at any time of the day. They’re light, easy to set up, and you can call it after 45-60 mins. I will say, don’t do Starbucks, do something a little more quaint and local. That hidden gem shop you’ve been going to for a few months. Strongly Disagree.
- Ice Cream Dates: Another L take. It’s not as heavy as a dinner, not nearly as big of a commitment as a dinner, and at the end of the day, it’s cute. Who doesn’t like ice cream? Strongly Disagree.
- Family Functions: Oh Hell no. Way too much for a first date and the amount of pressure you’re putting on your date is insane. That’s throwing a noob into a boss battle. Family Functions are after 4-5 dates minimum. Strongly Agree.
- Movie Night (Netflix, Hulu, and etc.): Laaaaaaaaaaaazzzzzzzzzzzzzyyyyyyyyy. This was a thing like 8-10 years ago back when “Netflix and Chill” was still a thing, but that phase is over. You come off boring and with only one thing on your mind. Agree.
- Somewhere That Requires A Long Drive: No, this one makes sense. This could be terrifying. Anything longer than 30 minutes (traffic not included) could come off as concerning. Agree.
- Bowling: The Hell is wrong with bowling? It’s fun, easygoing, great as a solo or group date, can eat or grab a drink. Plus most bowling alleys nowadays are crazy nice with sweet bars and arcade games. A great first date. Would also say mini-golf falls under this one. Strongly Disagree.
- Nightclubs: This feels shallow. Maybe if you met at like a club or a rave you could use that as an option but this one just isn’t first date material. Loud, probably really expensive, and honestly, feels superficial. Strongly Agree.
- Hookah Bar: I’ve been inside of a hookah bar once my entire life… No. Strongly Agree.
- A Bar For Just Drinks: This is literally the go-to first date. Light, easygoing, can be dressed up or down depending on where you decide to go. This is your base, this is your bread and butter, your layup. My initial thoughts when I first heard this was on the list:
Final Verdict: Strongly Disagree. - Waffle House: Now I know what you’re thinking: “Waffle House is just a glorified IHOP or Denny’s.” to which I humbly disagree. Waffle House is basically like breakfast Medieval Times. There is no such thing as a quiet night at Waffle House. It is constant anarchy where one second you’re getting waffles, the next you’re in a fight with a streaker who tried stealing your food, or even better you’re in a lifetime feud with one of the chefs over a runny egg. Waffle House is the definition of a wild card and by that logic is never dull. Disagree.
- Sports Events: Another date that isn’t just cut and dry. Depending on what sport you go to determines everything. A football game, sure probably not, basketball is probably too loud, hockey could be cool but also cold, so throw all of those sports out. I’m not a baseball fan, but if I had to pick a sports event that I think is date friendly than baseball is the clear number 1. A reasonable amount of time, not too loud to where you can’t hear one another, you’re outside, it’s typically during the spring/summer/early fall and a spot you can sit back and enjoy a glizzy/brew. Baseball game: Disagree. Other Sports: Agree.
First dates are scary for both men and women, especially in today’s day and age. Not only are they scary, they can also make or break a what could be relationship, so let’s take the pressure off of them. A nice dinner, a fun activity, maybe a round of drinks, you don’t have to reinvent the wheel here. Just treat everyone with respect and be courteous to the staff when you get there.
Now, at the start of the year I made it my New Year’s Resolution to right 52 blogs over the span of this year. How about we check the blog counter.
Blog Count: 23/52
Oof. The clock gets ever closer to midnight. We got some work to do.
